FIND
THE TIME
For most people, the effect of death in their lives lasts far
past the actual visitation or funeral. Therefore, it is equally
important to not only find the time to pay your respects, but
to stay in touch with the bereaved afterwards as well.
RESPOND
It is very important to reassure the bereaved that no matter
what, there people who care about them and about the deceased.
Remember this: "A simple hug or handshake
will show them that you care; They'll appreciate a memory, if
a short one you can share; But as much as any one thing you
give a grieving friend, its your patient gift of listening he'll
remember in the end."
INVOLVE
Involvement with others is tough to accomplish, especially when
you're running solo. Encourage your friends to become involved
again but resist the temptation to become a match maker. Involve
the bereaved person in life again by inviting them to share
freely in yours.
ENCOURAGE
Encouragement is based an honest belief in someone and must
be communicated sincerely in both word and deed. True encouragement
is more than just a pat-on-the-back with a handful of platitude.
NEVER
ASSUME
To assume that you can not make a difference is poor in judgement
and lacking in foresight. The three most important things we
have to give to each other are our time, our undivided attention
and our unfailing love. The least important is our advise.
DESERVE
CONFIDENCE
In order for the process of bereaving to successfully run its
course, they must have confidence in that they can truly share
the burden of grief and that they are not alone. They must be
able to confide in their friends, and we must keep watch of
ourselves that we always deserve such confidence.
SHARE
YOUR FRIENDSHIP FREQUENTLY
As the sun's rays help heal the body, so friendship is a sunshine
in the soul. Bereaved persons often feel isolated because friends
are unsure of what to say. Try not to make a judgement or give
advice unless asked, but know that learning to express ones
emotions of grief is the key to healing.
-
B.H. Conley
Most
Of All, Just Listen
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